not quite graduation celebrations

The girl child had kindergarten promotion this week. I am amazed that the year is over. She had a great year. As they warned us, the first month all in Spanish was tough, but she made it through and loved the rest of the year. They took photos in caps and gowns a few weeks before graduation, and then they wore their school uniforms with paper caps for the ceremony. Pretty darn cute.

 

Friday afternoon I went to hear my friend (the mutual friend who introduced Computerguy and me) present her end-of-the-MFA-reading. My folks had the kids. The scheduled time was 4-6. When I arrived she told me she was next-to-last. When it didn’t even start until 4:30, I texted Computerguy and told him he could absolutely make it after work. I wondered how her story would be. I sat through the other students’ poetry and fiction. There were some nice moments. CG slipped in with about 4 to go. Finally it was our friend’s turn. She was brilliant and hilarious. It was great. I was so glad I came. Her sister came, and the two of us. We were so glad we made the effort. I had texted my folks to go ahead and feed the kids, so after the reading, we invited her to dinner and she declined saying she was tired and just wanted to go home. She invited us to graduation today, and we had to decline because we had too much going on. Her sister would be there. Computerguy said today that he woke up this morning thinking about her story, and being delighted. And that he wished we could have made it to the graduation.

the rest of the service

St. Lucy and the Star Pole Kings prepare to enter the sanctuary in a long standing tradition, but what do they do the rest of the year?

My Question: What are congregations doing to include children who are part of a traditional worship service.

History: We have children in worship, a fair number of them (maybe 20-30 in a 180-210 people service). About 5 years ago (before we came), our church went from a 1-hour children-go-to-Sunday-School-after-the-time-with-children Sunday morning to a 2 hour education-for-all-first and everybody-in-worship-after format. We offer childcare as needed for the under kindergarten kids, but mostly the kids are in worship. Every once in awhile someone will still make a comment about a noisy child (::sigh::), but mostly people are just really happy to see the kids. We sit along with several other families with young kids in the first two pews. Other families choose the back. We offer activity bags and children’s activity bulletins, and I have always brought our own backpack of activities for Wordgirl and snacks for Shyguy (who does still go to the nursery after the time-with-children). There is a time-wtih-children each week, and our older kids serve as crucifers and occasionally as lectors, usually with one of their parents. There are also special kid-centered events like the Christmas pageant and Youth Sunday.

What Now?: Now that people are used to children in worship, I’ve been asking, “what’s next?” How can we go from simply welcoming them, having their “moment,” and giving them something to do to including them. It’s a conversation I’m having trouble getting started in committee, but having read MaryAnn McKibben Dana’s recent post about letting go of Sunday School, I’m wondering what other churches are doing in this respect. In some ways I like the Upper Room / Kid Space idea, but I also like sitting as a family in worship, so I am torn on that.

(Sidenote: I’ve also followed Teresa Cho’s posts about being intentional about including kids in worship, and I think she’s brilliant and amazing and I want to do what she does, but I have to admit it both inspires me and makes me feel tired. It’s pretty preparation extensive stuff. We don’t have a paid associate pastor, so anything we do falls to The RevDoc, me with a childcare stipend and few official hours, or Volunteers.)

I’m thinking about–and have heard some enthusiasm for–creating children’s Orders of Worship along the lines of what Carolyn describes at this post in her Worshiping with Children blog. We have lectionary-based activity pages, but as Wordgirl begins reading, and our service is pretty participatory/responsive, I’d like her to have the actual order or worship with words in front of her. Is anyone doing this or something similar?

We’ve been doing the Feasting on the Word church school curriculum, and that gives the kids who attend the education hour some tie-in with the service and scripture. I think it’s helpful. The RevDoc has been really great about looking at the document for pastors and at least tying the church school lesson in at the Time with Children if she has chosen a different passage than the curriculum writers did for the main service focus (and often they overlap well).

I’ve also wondered about a weekly email that might give some ideas to help families prepare for the service (ideally without it feeling like homework). Something like the “GPS Guide” McKibben Dana models in what is currently the final comment on the Sunday School post.

My big question right now is about music. We have a traditional service complete with organ and choir (and our organist is an amazing musician, though that brings its own issues, but that’s another conversation). With a very few exceptions (e.g. “Halle, Halle, Halle”), our music is not kid friendly. Since we follow the liturgical calendar and the lectionary and our services tend to follow a theme throughout (all things I think are fabulous), we don’t even repeat songs very often so they become familiar. My kid checks out during the songs. Unless it’s the aforementioned “Halle, Halle, Halle” she doesn’t even try, and I don’t push the issue. Can we introduce more songs like that? “Sing with the World” from John Bell and Alison Adam of the Iona folks has great Global, Kid-friendly music on it. There are other people writing good contemporary worship music. Can we start teaching these songs and adding them to our repertoire? Can we sing at least one of these every week as part of having all-age worship, and have it not be The-Kids’-Song? Can they become a natural part of our music? 

(I do think a children’s choir that learns the songs and teaches them to the congregation has potential. We’ve had a children’s choir before, but it has been sporadic and well-intentioned, and perhaps fell into “aren’t they cute” as a congregational response rather than seeing it as an integral part of worship. I think we’ve had a long enough break that we may be able to start from scratch with a different tone. It would also be an opportunity for children to really learn some of the “grown-up” songs we already sing.)

What else? What are your congregations doing to include the children you have invited into a traditional worship service? (I’m acknowledging that in my context, we’re not going to change the basic worship style or add a different kind of service any time in the near future.)

june 4th

I was a senior in high school. I would be graduating soon. I had written my 2-minute salutation a week or so prior so it could be vetted by the graduation coordinator. In the speech, I interwove events from the year in the news, popular culture, and school culture (e.g. people lined up in Russia for food; they lined up around theaters in the US for the opening of the 3rd and final (hah!) installment of Indiana Jones; and they lined up around our school for the sold out performances of Grease, our spring musical). In the speech, I talked about the hopeful student protests in Tiananmen Square. And then June 4th happened. The tanks rolled in. I had to change my speech between writing it and delivering it because what looked hopeful and peaceful had become deadly. It cemented those events forever in my mind.

Jemma writes here about what it is like to be in China today.

Let us remember June 4th, and let us always pray for peace.

(I note that I put this post in the “about me” category. And so it is. My experience. My perspective. And yet it so isn’t “about me.”)

family camp worship

I was the de facto worship leader at Family Camp this year. Given that I continue to not be musically inclined, I’m still awed by the idea that the song leader is not necessarily the worship leader in more liturgical traditions. It could easily happen, but it was not the case here.

The RevDoc had picked the theme and scriptures after last year: building (Psalm 127, 1 Corinthians 3:9-16, Matthew 7:21-29). I had handouts for each section of the worship service. I called them out at breakfast on Saturday and all but 2 were gone in about 45 seconds. The last two took maybe 30 seconds longer. I said something to someone else, and they said it was because “people want to make sure they didn’t get stuck with the sermon.” Yes, even the sermon is done by the People at family camp. And yes, that might be part of the onslaught, but I think it’s more like “people want to participate AND not get ‘stuck’ with the sermon.” I didn’t hold anything in reserve for myself, and there was nothing left for me, which is okay because these are family groups and Computerguy is not one of those racing to participate in family camp worship (but it turns out he loves the all-camp games. Huh.)

Over the next 24 hours I ran into people everywhere working on their section of the service. They were energetic and thoughtful and creative. People were drawing pictures and practicing songs and writing and memorizing lines. They asked me a few questions, but not too many.

Sunday morning there was some grousing about the 9:30 a.m. worship time (camp director’s schedule–not mine, but I think it worked. It ends up being a long service, one wouldn’t want it to go much later than 11), but we all got started about 9:45.

A family with young children + an unrelated older couple (I assume they were sharing a table at breakfast) began the service with announcements bringing us up-to-date on what was happening down the hill this week. The single dad, his two kids, + woman-who-came-without-her-mother this year called us to worship in the midst of the trees and the hills and the sky and the sun. When the 8-year-old boy stepped forward and spoke loudly and clearly without a script the lines he and his dad had written, I melted.The confession and assurance folks had written posters so we could pray and sing (“Take O take me as I am…”) in unison. The Psalm folks read the Psalm (though they had been practicing a skit, so I’, not sure what happened there.

The epistle group did a sketch complete with props (the 7th grader standing on a good foundation with positive attributes taped to him and negative ones sent to the fire. They tried to burn the papers, but the lighter didn’t work. That, too, is family camp). The gospel group drew the wise man and the foolish man on a long paper. Grandmother and mother held the paper while grandfather (the mayor. yes I still feel the need to mention that) did the reading and the grandkids made wind and rain. They finished by having us all sing “The wise man built his house upon the rock.” The sermon, by a young wife and husband, was thoughtful and loving, talking about building our foundations together as community in the love of God. The offering folks had collected and handed out small stones as the service was started. They asked us to think about what we were offering as we built our foundations. They laid a foundation of larger stones, and we were to think of what we wished our stone to symbolize and lay it on the foundation in a few minutes as we came forward to take communion. Lovely.

And then we had communion, and a guitar solo during it (I almost forgot to serve the guitarist, but saw a friend raise her eyebrows and gesture toward him just in time). The song leader led us in “Amazing Grace,” and I gave a benediction. Then it was over and we were on to all-camp games.

Afterward the mayor’s wife made a point to come to me and talk about how lovely every part of worship had been. I keep thinking about how eager people were to prepare and participate, and wondering what that means–if anything–beyond Family Camp.

she-wolf on the court

I have a blog post in the queue regarding church Family Camp Worship–which was delightful and Spirit-filled–but I am waiting in hopes of obtaining some photos to go with it. Meanwhile, also at Family Camp, the Girlchild was in her first sports tournament. There was a basketball tourney and every team needed a 5-7 year-old (and an 8-12 year-old, a 13-17 year-old and two grown-ups). 5-12 year-olds would earn 3 points per basket, 13-17 year-olds earned 2 and grown-ups earned 1. One of the two youngest players on each team had to touch the ball between each score. And bigger kids couldn’t take the ball from a little kid (but they could take it from each other which turned out to be pretty hilarious when Wordgirl finally got aggressive.) It was well-organized. The teams were randomly chosen from the folks who entered their names, and only a tiny amount of adjusting had to be done for the ages.

Wordgirl and Shy Friend watch what’s happening. Barbershop looks on.

Wordgirl was in the second round, so she got to watch one round first. She and her preschool buddy (Shy Friend) spent the first few minutes of their game looking bewildered while everyone played around them. The tournament organizer stopped the play and said “Wordgirl and Shy Friend are watching while you all play around them. You MUST include them in the game. Remember, you can lift them up and carry them to the basket.” After that, things got fun.

Slick takes She-Wolf in for a shot

The high-schooler on her team started tossing her the ball every time it came into play. She would dribble a couple times and throw it right back. Then the big guys started carrying her to the basket. Three times. She was pleased as punch. They won easily with her three points per basket. After that, the rule became the little ones could make only one basket per game by being picked up and carried.

El Toro (another preschool friend)’s dad takes She-wolf in while El Toro jogs beside him.

One of the dads was clearly the strongest and most adept at picking up the kids. He came from the sidelines to pick his son up, and did the same for several of the kids who didn’t have a teammate who could quite make it. But he was on Wordgirl’s team.

Shy Friend’s dad began to provide sideline commentary on the game. He gave a spontaneous nickname to each player. Wordgirl became She-wolf, the teenager who looked out for her was Slick. The 10-year-old on her team was Barbershop (for his stylin’ hair). He noticed her and even the next night gave her a special high-five after she braved the talent show.

She dribbles the ball…

It was great fun, and her team, the Bouncy Balls, went undefeated, but mostly it was about building community. My kid, in the midst of it.

Best quote of the game, in the midst of the game, 5-year-old El Toro, who had been subbed in to Team Awesome and wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, to 6-year-old She-Wolf:
El Toro: Are you on the Awesomes?
She-Wolf: I AM awesone, but I’m on the Bouncy Balls.

resurrection appearances

We’re nearing the end of Eastertide, moving toward Pentecost and then Ordinary Time.

Yesterday I was privileged to look at a statement of faith prepared for a presbytery this week as they look to move the person from inquirer to candidate for ordination (This is presby-speak. Sorry.) The statement had the completely orthodox assertion along the lines of “Christ was born, lived, died, rose again from the dead, and is seated at the right hand of God.”

There was a praise song popular in the 90s that, as anyone who knew me at that time knows, I loathe and despise. Part of the reason for that is that it makes the same move: “He came from heaven to earth… from the earth to the cross… from the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky.” This song is more blatant than the example above. In the statement above, it doesn’t say he went directly from resurrection to ascension; it just doesn’t explicitly mention the post-resurrection appearances. The song has him ascending straight from the grave.

As I thought about the omission, I realized how important these resurrection appearances are in my faith. Calling Mary by name in the garden, inviting Thomas to see his hands, offering breakfast on the shore and reinstating Peter, breaking bread with Cleopas and his companion after walking along the road to Emmaus, giving the great commission to the apostles, each of these is personal and specific. They are immediate and urgent and tender. They are all moments that resonate deeply with me, that help me process the rest of it, that guide me in knowing who Jesus is, that are a great part of the substance of my faith. Perhaps I put too much on these fleeting moments, but there it is. So when a person or a song or a creed (the Apostles’ Creed makes the same move, probably where the later versions emanate) says resurrection to ascension, I want to add “appeared to his disciples.” Maybe it’s implicit in the resurrection, and I’m the only one who needs the extra phrase.

the great convergence

Computerguy dubbed it “The Great Convergence.” It happened last in 2002, and will happen again in 2019. Every five or six (or eleven) years, my birthday falls on Mother’s day. Because of leap year, this is the first time it has happened since I’ve been a mother, but I’ve been warning CG it was coming (he says) since before we were even married. I had a simple request: Make me queen for the day. A couple days ago I let him off the hook and told him my expectations weren’t really out of proportion.

One area with mostly goats and a couple pigs we could go inside. I forgot to take photos. Here they could feed the animals through the fence.

It’s been a lovely weekend, and it has pretty much centered around me. I went to a quiet day at the church yesterday morning which gave the other 3 a chance to make a cake (which was a “surprise” except Shyguy is 4 and surprises are SO EXCITING!!! “Mommy, we have a surprise for you! It’s for tomorrow! WordGirl and Daddy and I made it.” Also, I could smell the baked cake as soon as I walked in the door). Then we did the family trip to the local quaint area with the petting zoo and apple orchards. There was that moment when the woman taking money referred to me as the kids’ grandmother, but I’m trying not to let that color the whole weekend. The kids have grown up a lot since the last time we made that trip. Especially Wordgirl loved feeding the animals, even up close. Shyguy took his time, but eventually went in, though not without Daddy holding him. He did love feeding the squirrels that scampered on the paths outside the animal pens.

Evidently this is what 42 looks like. Who knew? (You can see my roots here, but they look more brown than gray in the photo–not sure how true that is in the mirror.)

Today was church and a lot of people wished me a happy birthday and Mother’s Day (and it was the RevDoc’s last Sunday before sabbatical–if I weren’t going to see her in the office this week, I might not have been sanguine about today) and then CG and the kids made brunch, we played some Wii, talked to moms, picked up Rubios, and went to Shakespeare in the Park: An all male cast of Taming of the Shrew (an all female Caesar is in the rotation). It was a good day.

My birthday is always near Mother’s Day. This weekend wasn’t really any different than any other birthday/Mother’s Day weekend, and it was fun.