maundy thursday and aunt beast

I read the foot washing text in our Maundy Thursday service, I served communion, and I snuffed out the candles, one by one, reminding us of the darkness between the betrayal and the resurrection, the darkness of the crucifixion.

And then I came home and I read the Aunt Beast chapter of A Wrinkle in Time to the family. Meg is in despair. Her father, the person she had counted on to save her, has disappointed her. Charles Wallace, the baby brother who is more than he seems to be is caught up in the forces of evil. And Meg has just been through the darkness, been frozen by the the evil of the Dark Thing. She must be thawed and warmed and fed by “Aunt Beast” before she can face her father and Calvin and the possible loss of of Charles Wallace.

The choir sang “Were you there” while the chancel was stripped. I snuffed out the candles. We heard the words of the mandatum: Love one another. The pastor snuffed the Christ candle. And we left in silence. Jesus has been betrayed and crucified and we leave him on the cross or in the tomb until Easter morning, when we will proclaim: He is risen. Because we know what the next chapter holds.

I finished the chapter with an angry Meg, terrified for her beloved little brother, and with the words of Mrs. Which: Wwweeee aaarrre hhhheeeerrre. There is hope because the 3 ladies, the guardian angels, the Messengers of God have arrived. But I am the only one who knows how the book ends.

The kids–and the spouse who has never read it–will have to wait until tomorrow to find out how Charles Wallace (and he is a Christ figure) will be saved. And all of us will wait until Sunday to proclaim “He is risen” and to sing “Alleluia.”

I didn’t plan the timing, but this literature doctor cum church staffer kind of loves it.

Posted in Books, Church, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

my mom, the pioneer

My English Lit Survey class was reviewing for the midterm today. We were talking aboutMary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, and how, in the excerpt we had read, the main point was Educate Us! We can’t keep up with the conversations with men, not because we aren’t smart enough, but simply because we aren’t educated in those topics. I mentioned that this concern/issue/trend had continued, that it took a long time for women to really be educated equally with men. And I mentioned, kind of off-handedly, that in living memory, my mom had been in the first class at Cal Poly Pomona that accepted women. They could go to a lot of schools, liberal arts universities, teachers’ colleges, but engineering schools–that was different.

At the end of class, as they were packing up to leave, one of my students said, “Tell your mom congratulations for me. That’s really cool.” A couple of the other students who were still there nodded in agreement. This has always been a part of the story for me, so while it is one of my favorite parts of the story, I don’t think that much about it. My students were really impressed. So. Congratulations, Mom. You were a pioneer. Thanks for being a role model for me in so many ways, and for your continued support of women being educated through your AAUW support. You don’t just say it; you live it.

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2017 book adventure 1


I finished Great Expectations (A classic I never got around to) before my students started reading it. I have to admit, I really enjoyed it. Somehow, I never really “got into” Dickens the way I did Austen, Brontë, et al (except A Christmas Carol). I may have to remedy that. There is usually a reason that classics are considered classics, and I found it as I read Great Expectations. I rooted for Pip. I enjoyed the characters. I liked learning first hand about people and plot points that get referred to fairly often. I was happy to meet Wemmick and the Aged Parent I had read about in other books (that seem to assume one reads Great Expectations in about 8th grade). There is character growth and learning and redemption. What more do I want from a novel? I’m not sure how it will go with my students, but I’m ready to give it a shot.

My question now is, do I have to have a discrete book from each category? If Great Expectations is my “classic I never got around to” does that mean I need to have a 19th century novel? An author from another continent? (okay maybe Europe doesn’t so much count as another continent, at least for me). Also, do they understand that there aren’t exactly “books” per se in the 17th century, and, well, I’ve pretty much read all of them? I get that no one is grading me, so I get to make up my own rules, but still!

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bullet journal

I have been a journaller–off and on–for much of my adult life. When I was in college, I bought a leather journal cover at the Renaissance Faire that holds a plain sketch book. Mostly it’s been my prayer journal, though there have been times I’ve tried to carry it around and use it more widely. Some of my journals would have pages set apart at the back for “other” things.

I have tried to use calendars and to-do lists and failed again and again. I tried to go electronic with calendars and to-do lists and continue to fail. (My only moderate success is having our shopping list hooked up to the Echo and my phone. Now I at least have the list when I go to the store.)

For most of my life, I have been able to keep my schedule pretty well in my head and remember things I want to write down later. That has changed. I’m older. I have 2 part-time jobs, 2 kids, and a spouse. I’m trying to keep track of too much and I keep missing things.

In January this year, I discovered the beginning-to-be-trendy bullet journal. It has become my new best friend. What I like best about it is having everything in one place. I’m not messing with journals and calendars and random pieces of paper. My life is varied enough that it helps to have it all together. I also like the idea that I can go through the book from start to finish. I don’t have to try to block off 1/3 for church, 1/3 for school, 1/3 for life. I just go to the next blank page spread, write the page numbers in, and add them to the index.

As Ryder Carroll says in his description of the bullet journal, the key is the index. Write page numbers on every page and index it so you can find it again. Every time I start a new spread for an ongoing topic, I add it to the original index entry (until I run out of space). I star my “Daily Log” entry in the index so I can always find it quickly.

Let me note right here, that I have looked at examples of bullet journals online and they seem to be neat and pretty with flourishes and color coded and, well, neat. Mine is not! So this is the post that says one can keep a bullet journal even when it is fast and furious and messy. I aspire to be neat and color code and have beautiful doodles on my pages. Never. Gonna. Happen. It’s not me. My handwriting has always been barely passable, and that hasn’t changed. So. Messy journaling.

Things I have done well with the bullet journal: Having a place to keep lists and take notes, especially for things like worship series, class syllabi, each months’ newsletter. It’s been great as a place to take notes in meetings, or lecture notes when I was taking on-line classes, or using it as actual journal space. When I had an uncomfortable meeting with a student last semester, I went back to my car and wrote it out in my journal so I had a record of my version of what happened, and it was right there, and I could find it as necessary. When I need to write something, I take notes or start drafts in the journal. I have been keeping my lesson plans in the journal this term, writing lecture notes and class ideas, and then just having it open in front of me during class where I can add comments as needed.

Things I keep working at: The daily log. This is the to-do list part, and I use it more or less well depending on the week. The monthly calendar, I at least create every month (I might have missed one in the last year), but I don’t probably keep it up as well as I should as appointments come up. I’m also at a loss for whether and where to put the weekly things like carpool and piano lessons. As I looked through the journal for this blog post, I noticed one particularly busy week where I made a spread for the week to keep track of everything. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.

What I haven’t done well: I lost track of the “running log” which is a place to keep ideas, notes, etc. as they come up. It would be useful. I am not good at getting up every day and setting up my to-do list as well as maybe have a gratitude page or a nightly examen page. So consistency is not my forte. Same with keeping track of hours for timesheet in my church job and just to know in my teaching job. It would be useful, and I haven’t done it yet. I’ve tried a prayer page but didn’t keep it up, and also meal planning. Those are things I’d like to do more of. I’m sure there are other things people are doing that I am not. I’m not great at using the symbols, and I don’t know if they would be particularly useful for me or not.

I want to re-watch the tutorial as I set up a new journal (I filled the first one), and remember what those basic ideas were.

It’s a tool, and at this moment in my life, with so many moving parts, it’s one that is helpful to me as I find ways to make it work for me. Index it!

Some pages:




Future Log


Daily Log


Monthly Spread


Blog ideas


Pentecost Worship


Sermon notes 1


Sermon notes continued


Newsletter page / Youth Sunday preliminary Notes


Lesson Plans


Posted in About Me | 4 Comments

catching up

School started. We have a 4th grader who misses 3rd grade and a 2nd grader who wishes school didn’t exist. ::sigh::

I am teaching at one of the local community colleges. In some ways it is just fabulous, my best teaching since I taught high school, and I will post about that sometime. In other ways it is exhausting. I have am 8 a.m. class and a 3 p.m. class. As the woman who recommended me for the job said, “Worst schedule ever” except the other guy she recommended who has 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. But it’s only Mondays and Wednesdays, so that’s good. After getting mostly MWF classes in a program that *claimed* they equitably switched back and forth between T/TH and M/W/F classes, I feel so relieved every time Friday rolls around and I don’t have to teach. The kids are doing the after school program on Mondays and staying at the car pool house on Wednesdays. On Thursdays, I am picking up the Transitional Kindergarten carpool kid at 1:30 and the other kids at 2:45 and bringing them to my house. So we’re all working it out and balancing. It takes a village…

The students in my not-ready-for-freshman comp composition class are reading Zach Anner’s book If At Birth You Don’t Succeed for their required Reading course. Anner will be speaking at the school in October. I’m reading the book along with them and using it in the comp class and am quite delighted. I am trying to figure out how to help these students negotiate college. It seems that in the 7 years since ShyGuy was born and I stopped teaching regularly, much has changed in both students’ absolute refusal to be disconnected from their technology and how they view their role and the teacher’s role. This may be a steep learning curve.

Meanwhile, we are not heading to my cousin’s wedding this weekend even though we would very much like to be there because driving 10 hours either way on a weekend, even a long one, suddenly felt prohibitive. We will miss the family gathering and wish everyone well. We are grateful we got to see my aunt and her partner on their way to the gathering. Since we are not going north, it seems we are going to join Computerguy’s friends by actually camping (though just 1 night) at their annual Labor Day Weekend camping trip (we usually come up for 1 day). So. Camping. It sound tiring to me, but the family is excited, so there it is. (I might rather drive the 10 hours and stay in the house my folks rented, but that ship has sailed. Camping with the college friends it is!)

Posted in About Me, Family, Teaching | 1 Comment

poetry thursday

On Monday I read Kristin’s blog post about writing a poem (Improbable Blessings) based on a poem (What Can You Do with Day Old Bread) based on a poem (Inner City).

These got me thinking, and I wrote this comment on Kristin’s FB page:

I really like the poem. Now I have the first line of a poem in my head: “To Presbyterians nothing (and everything) is sacred…” I’m thinking about our children coming up after communion and grabbing hunks of bread as we pour grape juice back into the plastic bottle. I think there is something there. We’ll see where it goes.

I realized as I was working on the poem that when children grab hunks of bread we’ve done communion by intinction, so we don’t really pour the grape juice back into the bottle (except maybe the chalice the pastor poured out). It’s when it’s in the pews and we have little cubes and plastic cups that the unused cups get poured back. I could have conflated the two in the poem, but I didn’t.

I ended up with two poems, a longer one about the children and a shorter one inspired by the day-old-bread. I think I like the second one better. At least, I’m enamored of the first two lines.

After Communion

To Presbyterians nothing–and everything–is sacred;
All are welcome at the table:
–This is my body
–This is my blood
Memorial and more than memorial,
More than the baptists,
Less than the Lutherans.
I offer the loaf and the cup to my daughter:
–The bread of life
–The cup of love.
When we clean up,
She asks for bread
and children take hunks of the body of Christ
While we pour leftover juice down the sink that drains directly to the earth.
During lunch,
My daughter dips the bread
Into balsamic vinegar
And offers me the body of Christ.


The Leftover Cubes

Have you ever made bread pudding
From the leftover cubes of the body of Christ?
For Presbyterians
Nothing is sacred
And everything is sacred.
To share bread pudding around the table
This, too, is communion
And Jesus in our midst.

Posted in Poetry | 1 Comment

kindness at the waterpark

We have waterpark season passes for our 3rd summer. Yesterday we met my spouse at the waterpark when he got off work. It was a great way to live through the 110+ temperatures. It felt downright cool as we floated around the lazy river, bobbed in the wave pool, and sped down slides. We also felt the heat as we stood in line for those slides, and we saw the smoke from a nearby vegetation fire. By the time we left, there was ash falling on us. I checked. That fire is now out.

Two things stood out for me at the waterpark.

1) We were trying to get into the lazy river. They discourage people from congregating around the steps and blocking the entrance waiting for tubes, so I was trying to hustle the kids in, but there was some small commotion and much blocking. A woman was just in the river, blocking the entrance, messing with a tube, and I couldn’t tell what she was trying to do as she pushed the tube further onto the steps, making it impossible to navigate. I looked over at the lifeguard with an appeal on my face (I’m sorry we’re standing here on the steps; we’re trying to get in), and then I looked down, and about three teenagers, goofing and joking in the water seconds before as they tried to get out were steadying the tube so the woman could climb onto it. They held it for her, helped her launch into the river, and went on their way, teasing each other a little, embarrassed about this intimate act of kindness. They saw what needed to be done and did it.

2) Kristin writes about the welcoming statement her church council has approved. She wonders this:

As I reflect on this statement of welcome, I think about how easy it seems to welcome LGBTQ members of the community–but to genuinely welcome people with mental issues that are presenting in disruptive ways? That might be harder.

We were standing in line for the water slide, clumsily holding big double tubes. The teenage boy behind us, maybe 15, tall, a little awkward,  was clearly developmentally different. He was not with a parent, though responsible adults were around, and he was eventually joined by a younger boy. He was loud, excited, and inquisitive. He shouted down the tower at people he was with to ask questions and let them know where he was, and to get the attention of the boy who eventually joined him. He told them he had a green raft. Several times. Every few minutes, He asked us how many people were in line ahead of us, and then counted aloud for himself and agreed with our number. He called out to every lifeguard we passed as we climbed several levels to the higher slides, “I’m doing slide 7 this time.” “I have a green raft!” He prodded people, loudly, when they didn’t notice a space in the line and move forward. I only describe this to say that everyone was fine. The lifeguards gave him thumbs up and encouraging words. The people in line answered questions and chatted with him. No one needed to be hovering over him or taking care of him, and it seemed everybody was watching out for him. After we had slid down, while the girl child and I were waiting for the boys, I watched his grown-ups waiting for him, camera at the ready to capture a picture. I could see his behavior being disruptive in some situations, and I wonder how the collective we would react then, but in a waterpark during a heatwave, everyone was able to be the loosely knit community that one becomes standing in long, awkward lines waiting together for a few seconds of excitement.

The local waterpark on a Monday afternoon during a heatwave. It was a good place to be.

Posted in Community, Family | 1 Comment