Because it’s all about me, an interruption in my graduation festivities has presented itself. My late cousin Jerrad’s little boy has been in intensive care at Loma Linda Children’s Hospital this week. He has a high fever and pneumonia and they’re trying to figure out what is causing the infection. He’s hooked up to all kinds of tubes and it’s scary, though he does seem to be doing a little better today.

This little boy has a lot riding on him. He is people’s connection to his deceased dad. I certainly feel that way. He looks like him. And he’s a sweetheart. And it’s like, here’s something, a visible reminder of the man we loved. That’s hardly fair to the little guy, but it’s what is, and it’s something he will live with his whole life. For so many people, he will be standing in for this man he won’t even remember. What do you do with that?

Meanwhile, there is that ubiquitous social network and updates and photos. I held off putting it out there for a few days, but finally just wanted people to know, to pray. I switched my profile picture to the one above, my cousin and me and our boys back in December, so people could see who it is I’m talking about. His mom has posted photos from the hospital with all the tubes. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know if it’s helpful or not. I just don’t.

And I’ll still walk on Sunday. And people will come celebrate with me. And that’s good. But at the back of it, there’s going to be this little boy in the hospital and someone, most likely his mom, who would ordinarily be at the party, will be there instead. Because it’s not actually all about me.

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