9 times out of 10 I like that our church service doesn’t start until 10:30. How nice to have an unhurried Sunday morning at home. That will change a little when Bubble starts Sunday School, but it is still nice. Except when we have something else planned for a Sunday.
We’re going to the beach tomorrow to spend the day with friends who have been here fall and winter and are returning to Canada more or less for good. J started his Ph.D. with me, but, unlike me, he has finished. We wanted to see them, Bubble loves them and the beach, and we need to pick up bicycles we’ve lent them. By going on Sunday, Computerguy gets to come with us. And if we went to church then we’d have to do something about lunch (can’t drive through for fast food with an 11-month-old) and we wouldn’t get to the beach until 3 in the afternoon. As CG said, we’d spend more time driving than visiting. So we’re skipping church and leaving early for a nice family and friends day at the beach.
And I’m feeling really ambivalent about it. I want to be in church. I don’t want to miss out. I want to know what our pastor has to say about this week’s scripture. And I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way about the sermon. But after having been burned out by church before, I’ve said I don’t want to be so involved in church that I can’t miss occasionally when it is appropriate. And I don’t want to get legalistic about being in church. And for Computerguy’s sake, I need to make sure church does not become a burden. He’s been so great about coming, I don’t want to make it a drag. And I don’t even know how pure my motives are for wanting to be there. Yes–I do like going and that’s a plus, but I also am a pleaser. I know at least part of wanting to be there is an old ingrained feeling that I have to be and part of it is a desire to please the pastor and neither of those is a particularly good reason.
So we’ll go to the beach tomorrow and we’ll see our friends and we’ll be back in church next week. And I think I need to be okay with that.